Home > Liberalism > You know you’re a liberal when…

You know you’re a liberal when…

  • You can “support” the troops but not the war, but loving the sinner and hating the sin is hypocrisy.
  • Social Security needed saving under Clinton but is sunshines and rainbows when Bush wants to fix it.
  • You believe the path to liberty and personal freedom is restriction and government intervention.
  • You want the legislative branch to opine judiciously and the judicial branch to openly legislate.
  • You are the only person you know of who listens to ErrAmerica.
  • You claim you oppose the war because you value human life, yet you are pro-choice and are glad that Terri Schiavo starved to death.
  • You claim to represent tolerance, yet have little girls suspended from school for being seen saying a Christian prayer at lunch time.
  • You think that Bill Maher is a comic genius and a true intellectual.
  • You consider the Land Whale to be an honest, unbiased, hard-hitting documentary filmmaker whose films should all be regarded as the gospel truth (Though the word “Gospel” would never be heard coming from your lips for fear of offending someone).
  • You’re attracted to a woman like Hillary Clinton and turned off by Ann Coulter!
  • You protest the death penalty of a rapist and murderer, but protest protesters at an abortion clinic.
  • You carry signs at an anti-war rally stating you support the troops that shoot their officers (superiors).
  • You protest with illegal aliens anything that prevents them from entering the country and getting valid driver’s licenses.
  • You join with the ACLU in denouncing prayer in schools, yet have no problem with books being given to students on how to have rainbow parties.
  • You would mortgage the house to bid on a stained dress.
  • You don’t support our country or our President because a rich & famous actor said so.
  • You believe children are smart enough to have an abortion without the teacher notifying the parents, but think it is pertinent that the teacher informs the parent if the child is taking Advil.
  • You can find no legal justification for taking bin Laden from the Sudanese when offered, but you can find legal justification to bomb Arab medicine factories in an attempt to kill him during your impeachment.
  • You support the unborn chicken’s right to life, but see the unborn human as a “choice” based in convenience for the female carrying the child.
  • You hated the electoral vote in 2000, but wanted to rig one state in your favor in 2004 in an attempt to win the electoral vote after losing that state, and the national popular vote by 51-48%.
  • You want Tom Delay imprisoned for what Babs Boxer has admitted to doing also, yet what Barney Frank did with a male prostitute was not even worthy of the reprimand he was given, and Ted Kennedy leaving a woman for dead, then hiding in his family’s compound for a day is no more than “old news”, and we should all “get over it already”.
  • You think that Clinton’s dealing with terrorism on his way out of office in 2001 was just fine in the form of commuting the just prison sentence of his golfing buddy democRAT, Mel Reynolds (D-Ill), a convicted child molester. Now there’s another one loose on the streets!
  • You deny that one man and one woman is the only natural way to procreate human life, and is therefore the definition of human marriage.
  • You feel like Dan Blather going after Bush 43’s less than average final two years in the Texas Air National Guard, using obviously forged documents and a single known democRAT activist source, was a form of objective journalism, while ignoring the vast majority of Kerry’s fellow officers who he served and bunked with him in Vietnam, because they were nothing but bitter partisans, was perfectly OK.
  • You want prison for people who you feel abuse animals, but therapy for humans who are convicted of rape and murder other humans.
  • You feel like the middle starts with you.
  • You don’t like admitting that the sun is not only hot, but also rises in the east, because life cannot be that black and white.
  • You agree with promoting deviant lifestyles to children, but find the Bible in that same venue offensive.
  • You think that consenting adults can engage freely in every activity except capitalism.
  • You can only focus on the negative aspects of the war.
  • You feel nobody is responsible for their own actions – everyone is a victim.
  • You think if you loose an election, it’s because somebody cheated.
  • You cry about gas prices while you are driving a SUV.
  • You listen to NPR because you want to be informed.
  • You click your tongue in disgust because someone believes more in God than evolution.
  • You feel unions are critical to the well being of workers.
  • You feel that guns should be totally eliminated.
  • You make your kid wear a helmet and life vest to go around the block.
  • You believe that buying prescription drugs from Canada is a good thing.
  • You find tree bark in your pajamas from all the hugging.
  • You don’t believe Social Security is in trouble.
  • You feel the MSM is unbiased.
  • You don’t like to be called a Liberal.


  • You believe affirmative action is a good thing.
  • Going to war was so Bush could have all the oil and you believe China’s increased appetite for gas has nothing to do with supply and demand.
  • You like watching shows like, Queer Eye For The Straight Guy.
  • You won’t even let your kid have a squirt gun.
  • You can’t stand to see a conservative judge put into place.
  • You feel the need to have European support on political issues.
  • You think the UN is a good thing.
  • Your favorite color is pink.
  • You support the troops, but hate the war, which is causing freedom to snow-ball.
  • You think the solution to any problem is raising taxes.
  • You get profiling and racism mixed up.
  • You believe in the goverment knowing how to handle your money more than you do.
  • You believe guns should be outlawed.
  • You believe no one has the right to defend ones self.
  • You believe the Constitution of the United States needs to be re-wrttten.
  • You believe that socialism is a cool thing.
  • You believe the military should be turned over to the United Nations.
  • Vermont feels too constraining.
  • You believe the best way to insure equality is to give select people a head start.
  • You believe freedom does not come with responsibility.
  • You believe going to church is deviant, but adoption by transgendered gay and/or lesbian hermaphrodites is OK.
  • You believe that for every problem there is a government program.
  • You think tolerence is OK, as long as you agree with me.
  • You think “separation of church and state…” actually appears somewhere in your copy of the Constitution.
  • You belong to a group called ‘move on’, that cannot get past an election loss in 2000.
  • You believe that censorship is bad for everyone in hollywood except Mel Gibson.
  • You can’t fathom ‘intelligent design’, but you accept the conspiracy theories surrounding Kennedy’s assassination, the Land Whale and Roswell.
  • You think FDR was the best president ever despite the fact that he operated concentration camps for Japanese-American citizens during WWII.
  • You say freedom of religion is one of your tenets and then you condemn churches for distributing Bibles to others who don’t have ’em!
  • You say you’re all about human rights, but your activists protested to keep Saddam Hussein in power!
  • You respond with cheap shots, but demand you get a civil response!
  • You simply hate anything and everything that is traditionally American and do not follow your own shallow convictions!
  • “Separation of Church and State” is your mantra — but you think legislating when and where Christians can worship and taxing churches are just fine and dandy.
  • You think you know everything but have solutions to nothing.
  • You think that your ideas are mainstream but are in reality just a trickle in a toilet.
  • You believe in freedom of speech when it serves your purpose.
  • You say you support the troops when your party has never supported the troops.
  • You have a yellow stripe down your back and your try to tell people its a skin condition.
  • You believe Tom DeLay should go back to Houston to start serving a prison sentence (as Old Yeller suggested), but Sandy Burglar can walk around free.
  • You don’t realize that you contributed to Capitalism by buying that Che Guevara T-shirt.
  • You oppose those with differing opinions, support a firearms ban, support scientific human experiments, subvert freedom of religion, but Republicans are fascist Nazis destroying our freedoms.
  • You believe Republicans are taking away our freedoms, but you can’t give any examples when asked.
  • Despite constant complaining by the democRATs about Iraq WMDs in the late 90s, worries about the imminent threat posed by Hussein, and the Iraq Liberation Act, Bush lied about WMDs.
  • You believe Gitmo detainees should be allowed to have a copy of the Koran and prayer mats, but people in the US prison system can’t have a Bible if they want one.
  • You still believe Paul Wellstone’s political pep rally was a “memorial service”.
  • You still believe Ambassador Wilson told the truth.
  • You still believe that democRATs actually care about Valerie Plame.
  • You still believe the democRATs actually care about Abu Ghraib.
  • You can never be consistent regarding the number of people who supposedly lost jobs under Bush.
  • You can never be consistent regarding the amount of the “proposed” budget surplus.
  • You actually believe Slick Willie paid down the national debt.
  • You blame Republicans for the election shenanigans the democRATs are guilty of.
  • You fervently believe that Bush is a murdering, warmongering chickenhawk who sticks his nose into other people’s business, but Slick Willie, FDR, Wilson, Kennedy, Johnson etc. are heroes.
  • You’re celebrating your 35th birthday in your mom’s basement.
  • You refer to terrorists as “freedom fighters”.
  • You consider paying a few cents more at the pump as your “contribution” to the war effort.
  • When You believe all life is sacred and thus belong to PETA, but think partial birth abortion is a “choice”.
  • It gives you pleasure to kill helpless human beings.
  • You thought Theresa Heinz would have been a suitable First Lady!

(Hat Tip: Museum of Left Wing Lunacy)

Categories: Liberalism
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